3 steps to pacify the panic

As a young student, I quite enjoyed going to school. Despite my social awkwardness (and maybe because of it), I was able to achieve relative academic success especially in tasks that allowed me to work alone. I had never considered myself slow to process information but I do recall that the subject where my comprehension was the lowest and slowest was the one that coincidentally caused the most personal panic. Math! Ugh!

Math seemed much more like a foreign language to me than French ever did and, for some reason, Math had the added element of time pressure.

 

Pen en papier / Pen and paper

I can still recall sitting round-shouldered over my math facts sheet and gripping my pencil too firmly with sweaty fingers while a humourless teacher/ drill sargeant strutted through the room with stopwatch and counting down the time remaining. I’d quite literally freeze. Letting my head fall on my desk, I’d be numb, barely breathing until the litany of stories about why I was stuck began. “I’m stupid”. “I can’t learn Math”. “He is a terrible teacher.” And the downward cycle of fear and failure was in full gear leading nowhere fast.

This past week, I wasn’t working on math but in the process of breaking old patterns, learning new skills and some self-imposed due dates and deadlines, I was suddenly back in 7th grade at my desk writing a Math test. I did not enjoy being thirteen years old the first time so was not about to re-live that age of adolescent angst as a, for the most part, high-functioning adult. But ever-so-subtly, the disquieting panic began building until it developed into the full-fledged discomfort of a houseguest that would not leave!

After a few days in a deep-freeze of panic, I decided to warm my icy nerves with three steps to begin the thawing process and move me from overwhelmed to okay. Perhaps these steps will help others who are prone to panic when their time seems to be running out.

1. Observe Your Body

Observing takes a commitment to being still. Even with deadlines looming and the expectations of others in the balance, noticing where the panic is settling in your body will not be clear in the midst of fussing and fidgeting. While indulging in activities intended to numb or distract, your awareness to your body’s sensations is in slumber-mode. Sit comfortably and do a slow, simple body-scan. Begin at the top of your head and move downwards. Where are you tight? Where is there discomfort? For me it’s a deep buzzing sensation in my solar plexus. It’s a constant heavy hum that makes taking a deep calming breath challenging.

2. Breathe To Your Capacity

This breathing exercise works best when you are lying on your back stretched out. If you feel that you don’t have time for this exercise, check to see how much time has become unproductive or lost to the frozen-feet syndrome. Once on your back, you may feel a temporary increase in heart rate or a feeling of being exposed. This is common. Breathe as naturally as possible to give your body, mind and breath a chance to settle.

      • Place your hands on your lower abdomen with middle fingers on either side of your navel. Breathing slowly and evenly through your nose, fill your belly with air, allowing your lower abdomen to rise and separate your middle fingers from each other. Exhale slowly and evenly through your nose, allowing your belly to collapse and your middle fingers to come back closer together. Do this for three full breaths. Return to natural breathing.

 

      • Next, place your hands at the base of your rib cage with the webbing between your thumb and first finger on your side body. Thumbs will point toward your back and fingers will be on the front of your abdomen. Using the same method of nose breathing, inhale slowly and evenly until your ribs expand sideways allowing your side body to rise into the webbing between your thumbs and first fingers. Do this three times deeply then return to natural breathing.

 

      • Third, place pads of your fingers directly below your collarbone and find the tender spots between your collarbone and uppermost part of your rib cage. Using the same method of breathing, inhale slowly and evenly to fill your abdomen all the way up to your finger tips. Work to see if you can cause your fingertips to rise slightly with your breath. Repeat three times deeply then return to a regular breathing pattern.

 

If you feel comfortable with this process, the next step would be to do draw the breath to all three places in one breath starting with the lower abdomen, to the side body, then to the upper chest. But even simply doing the first step of three deep breaths in each area brings me immediately to a state of calm. And being calm is necessary for the next step to pacifying the panic.

3.  Prove-Proof Your Space

I once read a book by Anne Lamott who was giving advice to writers whose tendency to self-edit resulted in low productivity. She suggested putting the “voices” that make up your inner critic in a mason jar and screwing the lid on tightly until the task at hand is completed. Choose any voice that is asking you to prove your worth to them. These voices may be clearly attached to a person, past or present, or may be a collective voice of all those who caused you to question your value. If it helps, keep an actual jar in front of you as a token of your determination to quiet the panic that comes from constantly trying to prove yourself.

This week, after I noticed the jackhammer hum in my solar plexus, the telltale sign for me that panic wants to keep me stuck, I did the three-part breathing exercise then I jarred the voice of my inner critic. Since then, the fuzzy-headed feeling has dissipated, the spiral of negative thinking has ceased and the frozen feet have thawed.  And for the moment, I am unstuck.

Meditation

This has become my standard practice and you may find that one or more of the steps works for you. Or maybe you have your own methods. Do tell!

How do you pacify your panic?

 

time after time

 

“Don’t wish time away”.  I heard this phrase many times growing up.

But we do that very thing every time we unconsciously use languaging like “I can’t wait!”,  “I wish it was already the weekend.”, or  “Is it 5 o’clock yet?”

More subtly, we do it whenever we rush.  We scurry from one activity to the other without lingering because we’ve got so much life to live and so little time in which to do it.  A full day of the flurry of hurry finds us slumping into our easy chair with an exhausted sigh at the end of it.   A long week of this and no wonder we’re all waiting for the weekend.

But seriously, what’s the rush?

I was recently on my way to meet a friend and I found myself rushing significantly.  It was to the point that my body began giving clear signals that this was not okay.   My mind was so distracted and scattered that I couldn’t find my keys that were right in front of me.  My heart was racing to keep up with my manic multi-tasking and my abdomen felt like it bound was in a vice-grip with no sense of softness or room for breath.  So I stopped.   I took a few deep belly breaths and asked myself why I was rushing. The following inner scripts came quickly to light:

1.  Being late is morally wrong and is a sign of disrespect
2.  The person waiting for you will think poorly of you, if you are late
3.  Time is running out

Some of these underlying beliefs may sound familiar to the perfectionists in the crowd.  Or maybe you have your own stories.

The Passage of Time

Clearly it was time for a script re-write!

!.  Being late is not a sign of immorality or disrespect. It is a sign that you planned too much and didn’t realistically balance with how long things would take you.   It is merely a sign of poor time management, not of your value as a person.

2.  The person waiting for me will think “She’s late. She’s usually on time so something unexpected must have held her up.  No big deal.”   (And why does concern about what others will think take precedent over genuinely enjoying this moment?  Another inner script begging for a re-write?)

3.  Time doesn’t run out, it simply is what it is.  It is one moment after the next.  This moment isn’t running anywhere but you are rushing to get to the next and the next and the next moment based on falsehoods and fantasies.  All the while you’re missing this amazing moment right now.

I once had a yoga teacher who implored his students to be authentically present and aware in the pose he was teaching wherever they were that day.  A simple yoga pose is multi-leveled and our openness on any given day allows us to explore the depths or stay at the surface and learn there. His experience led him to say “I’ve been to the end of this pose and there’s nothing there.” Perfecting the pose, taking it as deep as possible doesn’t get us to any promised land or to ultimate answers.  It’s the process that matters. The journey of each step is where the abundance lies.

Turkey Yoga Pose AsanaInstead of wishing time away, how about witnessing each moment as an eternity?  There is more than enough time to be present in this moment.  And this moment is the most important one you’ll ever have.

What will you do with it?

 

stop, drop and breathe!

 

Have you ever noticed that there seems to be a common reaction to moments of sudden increased tension, unexpected news, or times when we’re nervous, frightened or otherwise overwhelmed?  We hold our breath.

 

Marianne, Norway

 

You might recognize that you tend to hold your breath in the following situations:

~ a car stops suddenly in front of yours and you must break hard to avoid a collision
~ you hear that someone close to you has experienced a devastating loss
~ as a joke, someone jumps out at your from around a corner to “scare” you
~ you’re performing a physically challenging task
~ you have a zillion things to do so you plow through without break or breath!

It doesn’t even need to be an extreme situation of tension or loss.  I’ve witnessed this in a yoga class when I asked a group of beginner students to extend more deeply into a simple pose or to hold it longer.  Suddenly, the entire room was not breathing.  En masse, the class was holding its breath and the energy change in the room because of it was palpable.  It seems odd that something we do without thinking and that is proof that we are alive, we unconsciously choose not to do it in a reaction to stress.

I could write a book on all the reasons we hold our breathe but suffice it to say that it is not in the best interest of our body, minds or souls to hold our breath in times of stress.  Stress, especially chronic stress, creates a toxic environment in our body and breathing is the Mighty De-toxifier who releases 70% of all toxins when we breathe deeply.

When things get tough and your nerves are jangling like a set of car keys, you can stop, drop and breathe.  Nothing I’ve ever experiences puts out the fire of panic and chaotic thinking like breathing.  Here are three key steps to get your started making this a daily habit.

1.  STOP

I mean this literally.   In the face of whatever is happening in the moment of tension, stress, panic or unexpectedness, just stop.   Take a moment.  The world will not end if you take a moment of awareness instead of reacting immediately and unconsciously.

2.  DROP  (NOTICE)

Notice when you tend to hold your breath most often.  What types of situations find you most often reacting this way?  Physical?  Emotional?  Relational? How often in a day do you find yourself not breathing regularly?  Where does it happen?  Work?  Home?  Social Situations?  What part of your body tenses when your breath is not flowing?  How do you feel after the tense moment subsides and you begin breathing again?  Where does your mind (and at what speed) go when your breath stops?

3.  BREATHE

Then when you’ve stopped, noticed that you’re in a situation where you’d most often hold your breath, allow the breath to flow.  Without force or attempting to deepen your breath in any way, simply let it flow naturally in and out.  It knows what to do!  While your respiratory system is doing its job, just notice.  What is the quality of your breath?  Where do you notice it showing up in your body?  Your nostrils?  Chest?  Belly?  Again, without directing it, just be aware that it is  happening.

With practice, you will eventually more aware of your tendency to keep your breath from naturally doing its job.  Begin to notice how you feel once you’ve chosen to maintain a steady, even breath even during tense moments.  Notice any differences in the tightness in your body, the stories in your mind and your recovery time from the stressful situation.

Look for future posts on more amazing benefits of breathing and simple methods of incorporating deep, rejuvenating breathing into each and every day.  Happy breathing!