letting go

If memory serves, I was fourteen years old when I first came upon a dog-eared copy of a Wayne Dyer paperback in a cardboard box of my mother’s books and had my first close encounter with the concept of ‘self-actualization’. I was hooked. Ass-over-tea-kettle in love at first self-development sound byte. It didn’t help that it was clearly such an incredibly sexy word! Don’t you love the way ‘self-actualization’ sounds rolling off your tongue? So what did it matter that I didn’t truly know what it meant or how following its siren call down the left-foot path of life would impact me from then on?

If I’m computing correctly then that means I’ve been walking this personal growth road for literally decades which begs the questions, “where is this path headed” and “when am I going to arrive? Questions more to be asked than answered. Yet no matter where it leads, I am thoroughly enjoying the journey. Learning, growing, evolving….zzzzzz!

Geez, sometimes I even bore myself.

Enough already.  Time for a time-out.

I feel the immediate need to stop learning, growing and evolving and just ‘be’.  For just this moment.  Can’t I take even one moment without naming a specific goal and supporting it with a well-constructed strategic plan? Or spend one evening not examining, analyzing, making a tomorrow’s “to-do” list, plotting beneficial outcomes or being a binge-perfectionist with every thought?

Time to let something go.  Let it all go.

Ways I Will Choose to Let Go This Weekend

  • Stop smiling.  Sorry Thich Nhat Hahn. Love you, but need this.
  • Get out of my head.  Dig in the garden. No mental weeding necessary.
  • Write and say nothing.  A break from bearing witness.
  • Hope for nothing.  It is what it is.
  • Despair nothing.  It is what it is.
  • Be. Wherever I am, whatever I do or not do, be it for all I’m worth. 

Sleeping Cat

So if you wonder where I’ll be this cool, autumn weekend, that’ll be me taking a nap at the side of the road in a bed of reds and oranges.  Rousing occasionally to watch the clouds float by and let my thoughts do the same, counting my blessings, watching my breath, wishing for nothing and only incidentally accomplishing something.  By accident only, not by design, I promise.