sixty seconds
When hope seems impossible, it’s natural to look for options at the other end of the continuum.
There you may find despair but that seems too final, too nihilistic, without nuance or grace.
On the conveyor belt towards despair, fear seems like an unfair acre on which to have to set up camp for lack of other viable options.
How does a sensitive introvert ride the wild waves of uncertainty without cocooning in avoidance?
How can one contribute to the community when running on the recycled fumes of
hope, despair, and fear?
For me, it has come down to understanding the sacred space between desire and capacity.
I may have the desire to rage against injustice, use social media to promote empathy and compassion, encourage others to engage in self-care, tend to the wounds of others and soothe their suffering, influence others to rise up and resist tyranny, rebel against the crushing of human rights and basic human dignity, and to be at the head of the line on all these fronts, online and on the street.
My wish list may not match my ability list.
My capacity, in this moment, may be to get up, wash my face, limit my social interactions (even on social media platforms), restrict toxins to my mind and body, treat myself with compassion, and to tend to those in my circle with a steady breath and understanding that energy must be preserved for the long road ahead.
Trusting my fluctuating capacity, and recognizing that fear and despair are reasonable responses to the state of the world, I can practice a sixty second commitment to care for myself, thereby having the capacity to care for others.
In sixty seconds, I can:
pause when a harmful interaction with a person, the news, a poisonous thought, or terrifying dream invites me to pitch a tent in the backyard of fear or despair
slowly exhale the toxins as I lower my shoulders, soften my jaw, move my body gently in soothing motions
replace the negative input with a simple grain of beauty, kindness, or simplicity, for even one moment
After ingesting a restricted amount of world news, I exhale and remember the scent of my week-old grandson. The freedom on my granddaughter’s face as she explores rhythmic gymnastics. Robins, grackles, mourning doves, chickadees, and squirrels bickering on the birdfeeder outside my window. I revel in the new growth on houseplants I nurture. And recall how my family recently celebrated me with lovingkindness. I recite a poem. Offer thanks.
I don’t swing to being hopeful in sixty seconds, but the intentional, thoughtful sensory inputs to replace the toxicity ground me in the now.
In a calmer state founded on sixty seconds of self-compassion and re-direction, I’m building my capacity to navigate the harsh realities. I have clarity to consider how I can contribute more peace, kindness, and compassion to the world.
Sixty seconds. I know you can do it. You are worth it and the world needs it.
