want not, get not

Deep down to your very core, what is it that you truly desire?

Peace and solitude?

Fame and fortune?

Love and acceptance?

Fun and distraction?

Freedom from any pain or discomfort?

Competence and efficiency?

Knowing you are warmly valued by another?

To make a difference in your world?

Appreciation for what you produce and share?

Camaraderie and affection?

Acceptance of what “is”?

All of the above?

Do you even know?  Are you willing to do a few experiments to find out?

Experiment #1:

Grab a friend. Sit across from each other. Breathe deeply and set the intention to not over-think. Have the friend ask “What is it that you truly desire?” You answer the question. You both take a breath. Have the friend ask “What is it that you truly desire?” You answer. You both take a breath. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Keep repeating until you have nothing left to answer. Or until you have dug deep past the unconscious shopping list of what most of us think we want down to your core values.  Those quiet, hidden values that may be huddled in a corner waiting for you to notice.

What came up? What does it say about where you are right now?

Once what you really desire comes out into the light of day, what about your life right now nourishes that desire?

If you were to write out a description of your ideal day, what would it look like? With all the photographic realism and detail of a Vermeer painting, how could you describe this ideal day so it is a superbly elegant fit for your temperament, your value, preferences and uniquely personal dreams?

If you had the words describing how you are living your ideal life and getting what you truly desire right in front of you, what is preventing you from living out this ideal life?

Experiment #2:

Take as long as you need to write, edit and re-write down your ideal day. Edit out things that do not fit your values and edit in things that do. Write it in the present tense. And don’t forget gratitude. Ie. “It is 7 am and I am grateful for getting a good night’s sleep. My morning begins with…”.  Go through an entire day.

Don’t forget the detail! The devil, god and everyone else in the world and all their dogs and cats are also in the details. Vague ideals lead to vague outcomes.

Once you have a description that excites you to read over and over again, read it over and over again daily. For a month. And notice.

What changes for you and what stays the same? What happens to your expectations? Do you notice how you are already getting some of what you want? Or do you notice that the things you do regularly are not beneficial for getting you closer to your ideal day?

• • If you are not getting all that you want from life, what can it hurt to try?
  • And if you don’t know what you desire, how do you know when you get it?

Maybe most of  your life is going just the way you want it to but there are a few pockets of discontent or a lack of satisfaction in one or two areas.  

Experiment!