when hibernation ends

 I’ve grown accustomed to this semi-reclusive pandemic life. With my wild woman hair, dubious hygiene routine and the sweet, sweet pace of slow solitude. Alas, this deepening appreciation for the road less rushed is happening just as things are set to open up in my area. The return of the real world is coming whether I’m ready or not. There’s a kernel of resistance to the impending re-entry deep in my gut. It may be a concern that the change may bring back to the unhealthy parts of the status quo.  

Can I hold onto the reduced number of social engagements?

Can I preserve the time to keep learning and unlearning?

Will I be able to protect the space I need to find sweet moments of joy in a world experiencing such sorrow?

   Of course, of course, of course, I want to start seeing family and friends again, in person. I especially miss those little humans in my extended family who have gone from toddlers to amazing, growing humans with huge personalities. And I’m looking forward to sitting face to face with the adults who have courageously managed their own challenges without the benefit of hugs and support from visiting kin. But after recently rediscovering many pockets of decades-old stored survival stress, composting under layers of the more recent world news type of stressors, I’m hearing myself say “I don’t know” more often than usual. And I don’t think that there are any simple life hacks on how to live well after such sustained stress. I’m putting my hopes in a gentle plan for a self-compassionate re-entry to a life that includes social and physical contact with others without suppressing my own need for the sweet, sweet pace of slow solitude. What are your concerns about things opening up?