Yes, broken!

Q: Hey, how are you?

A: Okay.

Q: Just okay?

A: Yes.  

 Have you had this conversation or one similar to this with anyone in the past year?  Maybe you’ve felt broken and said so out loud.  And maybe in response, someone has said something like: 

“You’re not broken. With hard work, a positive attitude and setting an intention to become whole, you can transform your cracks and fractures into something beautiful.”

Can we stop making it sound as if brokenness is a tiny puddle one can easily step over in order to start on the road to a glorious renewal?  Or that it's even a series of puddles.  Or that with the right rainboots and lessons on transformative puddle-jumping, our well-being is assured.

Can we stop making it seem as if brokenness is too ugly, too raw, too painful to stay with?  Too hard to hold? Too disgraceful to honour?  Too pitiful for the strong at heart?

Or that with a self-help book in one hand and the “what will they think of me” ghosts whispering over our shoulder, we quickly pick ourselves up off the ground, touch up our hair and make-up before the next virtual meeting and decide on how best this brokenness can be used for a triumphant story of transformation. 

 Even while we can surely experience moments of beautiful healing that provides solace along our journey, brokenness happens first and must be accepted first.  We are stepped on.  Beaten.  Exploited by others as tools for hate or pleasure.  Neglected. Discarded.  Gaslighted.  Gutted. Rejected.  Scarred. But we’re also still here!   We are broken, strong and still get up and put one exhausted foot forward into an uncertain future.   And yes, some days we are just okay.   And that's okay.